Tell me you remember you are still a human being, not just a human doing.
I started a knitting project at the beginning of the holiday. I’d actually planned to finish three hats for friends – belated gestures of holiday goodwill to compensate for my less festive mood prior to the break. I don’t need to remind you of the year we have all just been through.
The hat pattern I chose contained a few cables, yet that did not seem difficult. I was looking forward to finishing this off fairly quickly while practicing my new found skill of continental style knitting.
Halfway finished, I realized I had followed the pattern incorrectly. I ripped out the stitch work and started again. Shortly thereafter, I realized the way the yarn was organizing itself within the pattern was not presenting the colouring in a very flattering way. I ripped it out, changed the hat pattern and continued on.
I figured out that the way I was working the purl stitch was really hard on my hands, so I searched YouTube for a better way. Found it. Also found a crazy but effective new way to tension my yarn.
Yesterday, I lay the half finished hat (which has taken me the whole holiday to make – never mind three) on the counter. The light hit the colours in such a way that I knew the person I will be gifting this to will enjoy it.
I was able to be flexible with patterns of work and thought, let go of expected outcomes and in doing so, have begun to enjoy the process of knitting.
Best wishes in the coming new year where we will all need to continue to adjust our life patterns. Find small joys in the process of figuring out what works and what does not. Enjoy the being and not just the doing.
In the new year of 2014, I started this blog to document my practice as a visual artist outside my profession as an elementary art teacher. The spur came from a professional development session advocating building a “positive digital footprint.” My colleagues opened up Twitter accounts and a couple started WordPress blogs. I abandoned a personal gardening blog to begin what I vaguely deduced would be my foray into showcasing my skills in photography, drawing and printmaking.
On the brink of 7 years later, I have changed, the world has changed and currently the nature of my paid profession has changed. It has been almost two years of self reflection flecked with a high degree of distraction and melancholy. Focus on the positive has been spare.
Yet, one thing appears to have kept me from falling into complete creative and mental apathy: working with wool in the capacity of spinning.
Creating yarn forces me to work in the abstract. Spinning focusses my mind: pay attention to tension, listen to the sound and watch the movement of the spindle or treadle. See the formation of something new from raw or reused materials. I am realizing the potential of how colour and texture can play together. Play. Something absent from my years of haphazard and dutiful drawing and printmaking work. Something absent from my natural instinct towards anxious thinking.
As I continue in this space, I will make room for this medium. I feel like it may help me more fully answer the question of “Who for what?”
If 2019 had been different, this image wouldn’t be here. Through sudden changes in life circumstance, two of the objects in this photo were gifted to me: a soulful wool batt from my cousin, a venerable Medalta bowl from my mom. Together these items have been holding my thoughts on a drop spindle as I’ve finally made a commitment to turn the wool into a useful skein.
It is so easy to be distracted by unhelpful patterns of being. Spinning slows me down and gives me time to think about how my life could be different in a more peaceful, thoughtful, creative way. For an hour here and there I feel like life makes sense and I can move beyond those patterns and build upon a new and positive mindset.